What’s in it for you: Setting and reaching big goals while raising little kids isn’t impossible! Here’s the 3 best goal setting for moms tips.
There are thousands of articles, books and videos about goal setting and the “right” way to do it. Well, you know what? They’re garbage.
Let me back up a bit. It’s not that the advice is garbage or that the experts don’t know what they’re talking about.
There’s one very big thing missing from most goal setting advice and that’s this —
Most people who write about goal setting don’t have young kids…or they have a spouse who completely supports their goal setting by taking a brunt of the childrearing work.
This makes me so annoyed.
You see, I’m a mom of 3 little kids and I watch my friends give up on their perfectly amazing dreams and goals…because they shoot for perfection and give up when life with kids is..uh..anything but! 😂
In this article, I’m going to give you 3 of the best tips for goal setting for moms. You don’t have to give up on your goals just because you’re raising young kids. It’s possible to be fully present in their childhood AND pursue that calling on your heart.
So here we go.
Goal Setting Tips for Moms
#1: Don’t settle for perfection.
I get so annoyed when I see the options that are presented to us moms. There’s two different scenarios I see when it comes to moms and goal setting:
- The idea that you can have it all, be it all, do it all.
- The idea that kids are only little for a short amount of time, so we should bend over backwards and sacrifice EVERYTHING for them.
Let’s break this down a bit.
First, the idea that you can have it all, be it all, do it all. As moms, we’re told that we should be back at our prepregnancy weight within 12 weeks of giving birth, we should have home cooked meals on the table every night, we should hand create all the invitations for our son’s Paw Patrol themed birthday party…
This narrative is soo damaging. Because let’s be honest, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. And as moms, our 24 hours are filled to the brim with so much life and chaos…that we really don’t need to add in the extra expectations of perfection.
Now, I’m not dogging on you if you have six pack abs, love to cook or get a kick out of planning parties.
It’s not about the particular activity that matters so much. It’s more about this idea that we can do everything, and worse, that we SHOULD do everything.
What happens is that it leaves us feeling ragged and exhausted……or feeling like we’re failing and that we’re not enough (and sometimes both!)
Instead of settling for perfection, do this:
We’ve got to throw this narrative of perfection out the window. Not only will we never achieve perfection (it’s a myth after all. It doesn’t exist.)
But, in our goal to achieve perfection, we’re missing the whole point.
We’re on this ball of matter spinning around the sun for a reason. I truly believe that.
I believe that deep down in your soul, you have something that’s calling to you like chocolate calls to you from the pantry (seriously, I need to stop buying this stuff because it can’t keep it’s hands off of me!)
Deep down in your soul you have this dream, but what happens to that dream when you’re trying to live up to the standard of perfection?
Yeah, you got it, that dream gets pushed down to the bottom of the never-ending to do pile, you know, so we can say we’ll get around to it some day (but in reality we never will).
Stop putting everyone else’s dream ahead of your own.
LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN:
Stop putting everyone else’s dream ahead of your own.
I must say, your dream for your life far surpasses the dream your sister, your mother or your best friend has for your life. And you better bet that your dream for your life ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY surpasses the dream marketers, retailers and the media have for your life.
Put down the standard of perfection and start defining what you want for your life. Then, and here’s the thing that’s really important:
Go for it!
#2: Stop second guessing yourself.
The reason we get stuck in research loops is that we really don’t trust ourselves to make the right decision. We think that if we do endless research, we’ll end up finding the perfect plan, method or solution and we’ll save ourselves sooo much time.
But honestly, that’s just not how things things work.
Researching for hours, weeks or months on end doesn’t help us short cut the process.
The only way to get one step closer to our goal is to take the next best step…not by researching endlessly the next step.
Research and second guessing leaves us in no mans land, where we feel like we’re making progress but then get so annoyed and frustrated when we….don’t make any progress.
Instead of second guessing yourself and your big goals, do this:
The best goal setting advice for moms is to embrace imperfection and just go for it.
Do the thing. Don’t second guess, don’t spin your wheels.
Just pick the next best step and do the thing.
One of two things will happen: a) you’ll make a great choice and be that much closer to reaching your goal or b) you’ll make a mistake and then you’ll learn from the mistake and make a better choice in the future.
Either way, you come out ahead.
I once heard that the top successful people, one thing they have in common is that they are quick to make decisions and slow to change them.
Unsuccessful people are slow to make decisions and quick to change them.
This really hit home for me because I once spent two hours in Walmart trying to decide on a tube of tooth paste. So to say that I struggle to make decisions is kind of an understatement.
But i’ve realized that if I want to make progress towards my big goals (and I’ve got some doozy big goals), then I needed to stop second guessing myself and just make a damn decision.
And the more I make decisions, the more I learn and grow and become confident. I’ve made more progress in the last year of making decisions than I did in the 10 years of research before it.
Make a decision and take the next step.
#3: Stop waiting for the “perfect” time.
As I’m writing this article, it’s 3:21 am, I’m sleep deprived and typing away with a baby on my chest because she hasn’t yet learned to sleep in her bassinet…so here we are.
Is this the perfect time? Nope. Is this the ideal situation? Absolutely not.
I’d much rather be at a cabin in the forest, with the window cracked, listening to the sound of the babbling brook as I write these angelic words to you to inspire you to live your best life.
But that’s not what’s on the schedule for me right now.
Instead, my life looks crazy and chaotic and not perfect in any sense of the word.
But it’s my life, filled with the people I love and the activities I love to do. And for that, I’m in love with it.
Maybe you have a kid who can play Minecraft for 7 hours straight but doesn’t know any words beyond “Mom mom mom mom” when you sit down to write your novel.
Maybe you build the most amazing websites when you’ve gotten a night of 8 straight hours of uninterrupted sleep, but your baby who thinks that 3 am every night is a party has a different idea of a good time.
Maybe you would knit that sweater, run that marathon or pay down that debt…if only you had more than a few minutes to yourself between a demanding boss who doesn’t understand you have to leave at 5 on the dot to get to the daycare, babysitting your sister’s kids, and making last minute dashes to the supermarket because you ran out of flour…
But here’s the deal…
When you wait for the “perfect” time to start your goals, you never start…because the “perfect” time will never come.
It’s this myth that we have to have all our ducks in a row before we pursue something for ourselves.
It’s a myth that we can’t go after a big dream if we feel like a hot mess.
And it’s completely a myth that we have to be a certain size, have a certain amount of time or feel completely ready before we step out and take the first step.
Instead of waiting for the “perfect” time to go after your goals, do this:
Um, here’s something revolutionary:
Really, that’s it. 😉
Instead of waiting for the perfect time or the perfect set of circumstances, be okay with the fact that that’s not going to happen and honestly, that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.
Because going after big goals isn’t about doing something…it’s actually about becoming someone.
It’s about becoming the person who is resilient, strong and powerful in the face of adversity.
It’s about becoming the person who doesn’t quit just because kids get sick, teachers ask for last minute assignments or the toddler decides to throw a container of pushpins all over the floor.
It’s about becoming a person who find optimism even when things get tough and is able to keep going because the dream is so much more important than the challenge.
And honestly, as much as we would all love to get that magic pill to make things sooo much easier, we need these challenges as part of the process to becoming the person we need to be in order to reach the goals we want to reach.
Goal Setting Tips for Moms
To say you need to throw perfection out the window would be putting it lightly. You need to kick, shove and hammer it out the doorway and make sure it never comes back.
THe more you step out and make decisions, the easier it gets.
And here’s a secret: the more progress you make, the more momentum you get and you know what that creates: motivation.
So the more you move forward, the more motivated you are to keep moving forward.
You got this! I believe in you! 💖